Hollywood Babylonby Rachel
A girl walks out of a house, carrying a flashlight and calling for her friends. A porch swing is swinging squeakily behind her. Suddenly she hears a rustling in the bushes. "Hello?" she calls, "Hello?" Suddenly a hand grabs her by the shoulder and she turns around with a scream, but then says "Brody!" in relief. However he tells her that their friends are dead, he starts to panic in his fright. She tells him to pull it together but he says they have to get out of there. She insists they have to stay to find her sister. He says he is leaving and runs into the bushes. She yells after him, but he doesn't come back. She stands still and then suddenly hears something behind her. She turns around and screams, slowly her voice dies out and we see that a camera is pointing at her face.
"Cut!" yells the director sitting nearby with the rest of his crew. "What the hell was that?" he says quietly. The girl walks away, taking a drink from a man nearby. The director comes up to her. He asks her to try “dialling up that scream, huh?". She explains that she has trouble with the tennis ball they are using as the “monster” The director explains that once the special effects guys are done it will look terrifying. He shows her a picture of a skeleton with a flaming chainsaw. She says she’ll find it and he walks away, seemingly satisfied.
Tara walks over to her chair, where one of the other actors is sitting. One of the set guys is telling him that when he works after hours, it feels like something is watching. The set guy, Frank, thinks the set is haunted.
Later on set, Tara is by herself, practicing her scream when she hears something strange. She starts to walk through the set. "Come on, it's not funny," she says, but nothing. "Ok, haha very funny," she goes on, "who's there?" Still nothing. Then suddenly she stumbles over a cap on the ground, and she looks up. On the ceiling, covered in blood, is Frank, the set worker. She screams. Elsewhere on the set, the director looks up, hearing her, and says "Now that's what I'm talking about!"
Dean and Sam are riding on a little touring bus, as a woman's voice is telling them all about the sets around. Dean is trying to talk to a child sat next to him, but the kid just stares at him. The tour guide's voice goes on to say that they are passing the set where they are filming the TV show ‘Gilmore Girls’. Sam looks up quickly, and Dean watches him, smiling, then gives him a thumbs up. Sam, looking slightly awkward, gets off the bus. "Let's finish the tour!" Dean says, but follows him anyway.
They start walking. "Sam, check it out, it's Matt Damon," says Dean excitedly, pointing at somebody. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not Matt Damon," Sam says. "No it is," Dean insists. "Well Matt Damon just picked up a broom and started sweeping," Sam says. "Yeah well he's probably researching a role, or something," Dean says. "I don't think so," Sam says, and then says "This way, I think Stage 9's over here." Dean wants to look round, but follows Sam anyway.
Sam says that it was Dean’s idea to come to LA in the first place, Dean says yes for a vacation, but Sam points out that the weather is hardly vacation weather, in fact is “practically Canadian”. Dean agrees, he just thought that after Madison he could do with a break.
They change the subject to the “haunted set”. "Like Poltergeist?" Dean asks. "It could be a poltergeist," Sam agrees. "No no no, the movie Poltergeist," Dean says. When Sam looks at him blankly, he explains that on the set of Poltergeist, they used real human bones and at least 3 of the crew members died.
Sam tells Dean about the crew member that died and that a girl, Tara Benchley, found him. Turns out Dean’s a fan of Tara and is suddenly interested in the case.
On set, a man is telling the crew that he thinks the movie needs to be a little bit brighter. Then he turns and looks over at Sam and Dean before beckoning Dean over and asks him to get a smoothie for him. Dean looks at him blankly. Brad looks at him and asks him if he is a PA? Sam quickly runs over to rescue his brother, tells Brad his smoothie is on its way and pulls Dean away, explaining about PA’s.
Dean walks up with a tray of smoothies. He looks up at the ceiling of the set, then puts down the smoothies and heads up the stairs to the rafters, taking out his EMF meter. Just then the lights change, and he hears the director talking. Dean keeps going as downstairs, the actors begin filming and Tara begins to read in Latin. Dean leans out as far as he can with his EMF meter, but nothing.
Later, Sam and Dean are standing by the food table. Dean is telling Sam that he no EMF readings. Then he picks up a small sandwich from the table. He holds it out to Sam. "Maybe later," Sam replies, and Dean shrugs and takes a bite himself. He continues to talk to Sam, a piece of food hanging out of his mouth. Sam stares at him for a minute, and then tells Dean that no-one knew Frank as he was just filling in for the day. Just then another crew member walks up and takes one of the sandwiches. "They're wonderful," Dean says to him as he walks away. Sam goes on to say he did find out something about the set's history, that four people have died there over the past 80 years, 2 suicides and 2 fatal accidents.
Suddenly Dean sees Tara walking just a little way away and says they need to find out more and he’ll make a start right then. He walks over to her, grabbing a script from a person walking by. She looks up at him in surprise and he smiles shyly. She smiles. "First day?" "Yeah… my big break," he says. She smiles as he goes on "I know it's really uncool to say this but I'm a big fan… I loved you in Boogeyman." Dean asks if she found the dead guy. She doesn't answer and he apologises quickly, but she says it’s okay. Dean asks her what happened. She said there was a lot of blood and that she also saw a dark shape. Dean asks her if she knew Frank, and she says not that well, but she does have a photo of him. She pulls out a photo album, telling him that it's something she does to pass the time, take pictures of all the crew members. She shows him the picture.
Dean and Sam knock on a door, and the man who opens it is Frank, the dead crew member. Dean says he recognised him, he’s Gerard St. James, and asks him about a part he played in a movie. Gerard invites them in. He hands them some coffee, and tells them that the producers brought him up for the day just to play Frank, to fake his own death for some free publicity. Dean asks about the ghost that Tara saw. Gerard explains it was a projection. He pulls out an ad leaflet and hands it to Dean before the boys leave.
Filming a scene on the set. One of the actors is saying that when they read from the book of Latin chants they must have attracted the ghosts. The man working on the sound can't hear it as there's some sort of static. The actor goes on to say they aren’t going anywhere until they find Wendy and her sister. "Cut!" calls the director. The sound guy says all he could hear was static.
Brad is saying to the director he has some questions, when the director asks what about he says about the Latin chants, if the ghosts are in hell, how do they hear the chant? The director calls the writer over, who suggests an explainer. Just then Brad’s pager beeps and he leaves to check his messages.
While Brad is listening to his messages, we can see a white shape standing behind him. He continues to listen to messages before he turns to see a woman standing next to him, all white with black lips, eyes, and hair. He asks her if McG has seen her but she doesn’t answer, so he continues, saying he likes the body paint in black and white, but he’s not sure about the neck wounds. He turns to call for make up for the girl. She suddenly comes up quickly behind him and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around; she takes off the robe she is wearing and he watches her as she climbs up the stairs towards the top of the set.
Meanwhile they are still filming. The guy is saying again about reading from the book attracting the spirits. The girl says she doesn’t understand how they can hear. "They must have super-hearing," the other replies, then suddenly something falls through the roof of the set. The girl starts screaming as we see that it is Brad, hanging by his neck, dead.
Tara, as Wendy, walks into the little cabin they were in earlier, and one of the guys says "Wendy?" "Oh my gosh you're alive!" she says, hugging him. The director calls, "Rumble, rumble, rumble!" and the set shakes. Tara says they need salt as she read in a book that salt keeps ghosts away. Meanwhile Marty the writer is taking about Brad killing himself and maybe they should shut down. The guy sat next to him says he was just a studio guy and they did have a minute silence for him at breakfast.
"I love you," Tara is saying on film. "I know," says the guy, and Tara winces as he shines the flashlight in her eyes. "Sorry," he says. She sighs and asks if they can cut. "That's a cut!" Dean yells, standing at the side with a headset on and eating something. The director asks Tara what’s up, she says she’s a bit upset, she can’t get around the dialogue, such as using salt. She cannot understand how a ghost would be afraid of salt. Dean laughs to himself nearby. The director asks Marty what else a ghost would be afraid of. Walter, the PA nearby, looks at the script in his hands and mutters to himself. Marty suggests shotguns. The director thinks that makes less sense than salt. Walter looks disgusted and walks away, muttering to himself again.
Sam walks up to Dean looking surprised before asking how it’s going. Dean tells him really well; Tara has stepped up her performance. Sam gives him a weird look before asking if he knows he means the case, they don’t really work there and he thought Dean hated being a PA anyway. Dean replies it’s not too bad, he feels like part of the team.
Sam begins to tell him that he got into the morgue and that the news reports were right about Brad, but Dean keeps on talking to someone over his headset. "Sorry," he says, turning back to Sam. Sam finally finishes. Dean takes Sam over to the sound guy, and tells him to play that thing he was playing earlier. Sam puts on the headphones and listens. Over the recording from earlier, he can quite clearly hear EVP. Dean tells him he's suddenly getting lots of EMF readings. Sam wonders who the ghost could be so Dean suggests checking the scene that includes Brad’s death.
Dean and Sam enter Brad's trailer and put in the DVD of the scene. They watch as Brad falls through the ceiling. Sam suddenly says for Dean to run it back, and Dean pauses it. There is a figure standing in the back, someone who wasn't on the set, a woman in white. "It's like Three Men and a Baby all over again," Dean says. Sam looks at him weird, and he explains that in one of the scenes there is apparently a boy caught on film that nobody remembers being on the set; spirit photography. Sam looks back at the TV and says he has seen her before.
The boys are sitting together and Sam pulls out an old newspaper article. Dean starts to talk over his headset again and Sam sighs. He shows Dean a picture of Elise Drummond, a thirties actress who hung herself after she was fired, during the shooting of a scene. It matches Brad’s death exactly. They wrap up the day of shooting and the director is telling Jay he's a genius.
The boys are walking through the graveyard and Dean is looking at a map of what graves are where. He proclaims the map was totally worth the 5 dollars they paid for it and that they should check out Joey Ramone’s grave after. Sam asks what for, is Dean planning on digging him up as well? As they walk Sam wonders why Elise is suddenly going homicidal after all this time. "I dunno, maybe she's mad they're making a scary ghost flick," Dean says. The boys find Elise's grave and start digging.
Jay is on set, talking to the director over the phone. He finishes and suddenly the lights go out. He yells for somebody, but no one answers.
Meanwhile, Dean and Sam open the coffin, and they salt and burn her bones.
Jay is walking through the set when he sees someone move up ahead. He calls out, asking if they can show him the exit , but the guy doesn't move. He yells at him again and suddenly he turns around, and his head and face are all mutilated and bloody. Jay yells and falls backward. Suddenly a fan turns on nearby and Jay is pulled toward it. He screams and reaches desperately for something to grab onto, but he can't and he is pulled into the fan. Blood splatters everywhere.
We see a movie preview for Hell Hazers II: The Reckoning. (From the producers of Cornfield Massacre, Monster Truck, and the director of Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, and Hell Hazers.)
Dean and Sam look at the death scene and Sam says that the same thing happened to an electrician back in '66, a guy named Billy Beard, which is weird because it doesn’t match Elise’s MO, besides they torched her remains. They wonder if it could be another ghost, although they have not known ghosts working together before.
The director climbs out of his car and calls everybody around, and announces they are shutting down in light of the latest accident. He says they will continue, but not today and that someone will call everyone. He walks away.
Sam is sitting on the couch, watching the outtakes from the film. He looks bored. Dean walks in. Sam asks if he found where the electrician was buried. Dean replies he wasn’t, he was cremated. He also asks Sam if there have been any more ghost cameos, which there hasn’t. Dean reckons the spirits are trying to shut the movie down because it sucks. They keep watching, then suddenly Sam leans forward and runs it back, where Tara is reading the Latin. She is reading a Necromanic summoning ritual.
The boys go to Jay's old office to talk to him, and he asks them what they're still doing there. Sam tells him they read the script and that it’s awesome, Dean agrees. Marty says he’s glad, a big grin on his face. Dean says he particularly likes the attention to detail, Sam adds that he really liked all the summoning rituals and language. Marty says that’s Walter, the original writer, not him. "Walter? You mean the PA Walter?" Dean asks. Marty explains that he's not a PA, he's allowed to come on set because of his contract. Dean asks if he wrote the rituals, and Marty replies that he wrote a whack-job script with no love interest or pace.
Dean and Sam are reading the original script; Dean says it's actually pretty good. Sam says it’s like a text book on how to summon ghosts and get them to do what you want, like how to kill people. They agree it's worth checking out as it appears Walter is annoyed at the wrecking of his movie.
Marty is walking through the set to meet Walter, he speaks to him but Walter doesn't answer. He says he’s busy working on a script. Walter says they worked on it a lot. Marty replies that it needed work, and why couldn’t they discuss this in his office. Marty says that Marty knows the lore in his draft is accurate. Marty notices Walter is holding something in his hand. Meanwhile Walter continues, saying they could have got it right for the first time ever, but they tore it to shreds. Marty says he doesn’t care what was real, ghosts don’t exist. Walter says he is wrong and holds up the thing in his hand and begins to speak in Latin. Marty turns to leave. Right in front of him is the man with the mutilated head. He screams. The fan turns on, and the ghost begins to drag Marty toward the fan. Walter is yelling that Marty ruined his script.
Suddenly, just before he is dragged into the fan, a shot rings out and the ghost disappears. Dean runs forward holding his shotgun, followed by Sam. "You are one hell of a PA," Marty says, and Dean replies "I know" and helps him up. Sam begins to yell at Walter, asking him what he's doing, raising spirits from the dead and making them kill for him. Walter says it is nothing to do with them ,they should leave Marty there. Dean says they can’t. Walter holds up the talisman again and speaks in Latin. The ground shakes, and suddenly three ghosts appear nearby. They begin to approach, then they suddenly disappear. Sam is thrown aside but Dean helps him up and they start to run. Sparks are flying from equipment as they run through the set. They finally reach the cabin set and run in, then realise the back of it is open. Sam tells Marty that Walter is controlling the ghosts with the talisman. Then he gets an idea, and pulls out a camera from his pocket. He looks at the screen and sees the ghost coming. He tells Dean where to shoot, and it disappears. They continue for a bit in the same fashion, then Sam hands the camera to Marty and tells him to take over.
Sam cuts off Walter's escape and tells him it's over. Walter throws the talisman on the ground, shattering it. Sam tells Walter he has now freed the ghosts, they cannot stop them now. Dean and Marty come in. Sam finishes telling Walter the ghosts aren’t going to be happy with him now. Suddenly Wlater is dragged to the ground and begins to yell. Blood appears on his back. Marty holds up the camera and they can see the ghosts tearing him apart.
"Oh God," says the actress, "Oh God." She is holding a camera out in front of her, as one of the other actors stand behind her with a gun. "There!" she says, and he shoots. "How come the spirits appear on a camera phone?" she asks. "The video must pick up their frequencies in a way that our eyes can't," he replies. "Right there!" she says, and he takes another shot. "Cut!" the director calls. "Oh, print that one. I loved it. That's in the movie." Sam is watching in disbelief.
Sam goes to Tara's trailer and Dean comes out, pulling on his jacket. Tara comes to the door, wearing her bathrobe and smiles. "You're one hell of a PA." "Thank you," Dean replies. Sam looks awkward. They leave together, Sam looking confused. Dean grabs a burrito off a plate on the way by, and the two boys walk off into a sunset, which is actually a prop. "God, I love this town," says Dean.
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